Sally is a bad detective and a well known slut

This is a clip from BJ Novaks stand up. It's not the best quality video, so turn up the volume. There's not much to see, but the story is good.

starlite201: lay how mah
starlite201: gong hay phat choi
nancynancy8302: lol
nancynancy8302: sang yut fai loc
starlite201: whats that
nancynancy8302: happy birthday?
starlite201: ohhhh
starlite201: sik fan
starlite201: dim a
starlite201: ting yet gin
starlite201: tsen lei gon man di?
nancynancy8302: gno toh gnoh
starlite201: o oi lei
starlite201: whats that?!
nancynancy8302: im hungry
nancynancy8302: lol
starlite201: hahaha
starlite201: cooool
nancynancy8302: lay ho lang
starlite201: is that im too lazy
nancynancy8302: no
nancynancy8302: it says
nancynancy8302: "you're pretty"
nancynancy8302: but
nancynancy8302: i only said that
nancynancy8302: cus i don't kno how to say
nancynancy8302: "you're ugly"
starlite201: ni hen tzo
nancynancy8302: mho cho
nancynancy8302: hahha
starlite201: ?
starlite201: whats that
nancynancy8302: basically
nancynancy8302: shut up
nancynancy8302: its what danny says to me
nancynancy8302: all the time
nancynancy8302: and then
nancynancy8302: he'll tell me to tell you you're gay in mandarin
nancynancy8302: :/
starlite201: hahah
nancynancy8302: he's so predictable
starlite201: i know swear words
starlite201: diu
starlite201: do you know diu
nancynancy8302: lol
nancynancy8302: do you know fuck
nancynancy8302: hahha
starlite201: hahaha
starlite201: gau
starlite201: do you know that one
nancynancy8302: gau?
nancynancy8302: is that..
starlite201: yeah
nancynancy8302: dog?
starlite201: mmm i dunno
nancynancy8302: pok guy
starlite201: its supposed to be a sexual organ
nancynancy8302: oh
starlite201: theres gau, lan, tsat, and hai
nancynancy8302: uh
nancynancy8302: over my head.
starlite201: wait
starlite201: puk gai
starlite201: ?
starlite201: or ham gaa caan
nancynancy8302: whoa
nancynancy8302: whatever that is
nancynancy8302: thats dirty
starlite201: whyyy
nancynancy8302: ham g aa caan
starlite201: what does it say
nancynancy8302: what is ithat
starlite201: i dunno
starlite201: hahah
nancynancy8302: who is telling you this
starlite201: i wikipedia'd it
starlite201: -_-